Saturday, September 24, 2011

STRETCHHEADS - Five Fingers, Four Thingers, A Thumb, A Facelift And A New Identity LP

The most bizarre punk noise band to ever come out of Scotland and probably best punk band from Scotland ever. I am pretty sure these guys were a bunch of spazzes suffering the most severe case of ADHD. I don't think Ritalin was part of their diet either.

The lyrical subject matter covers topics you are likely to hear from the mouth of your favorite schizo crackhead bum. The vocals have best been described as "reminiscent of nothing so much as Sesame Street's Grover with electrodes affixed to his genitals". There is a definite KILLDOZER influence and super choppy guitar riffs with Rimbaudesque drumming bring CRASS to mind as well. STRETCHEDS has managed to take both those influences and play them heavier and faster. I'll be damned if you can tell what the guitar is playing, if anything at all, through 90% of this disjointed noise bomb. The bass, although heavily fuzzed out, is enough to keep your bearings on the riffs. There are even some studio effects and trickery tossed in. Something that sounds like a phone ringing, bursts of electronic hum and some free jazz saxophone.

STRETCHHEADS have a solid spot as one of the quintessential twisted avant-garde punk bands. If you disagree I think you're dumb. Now go blast this and have a seizure.

1,000 copies released in 1988 by Moshka Records


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