Monday, October 10, 2011

VENOM - Manitou Cassette

Somehow, it always comes back to heavy metal for me. Even when I was barely a teen trying to earn my punk merit badges, at least five of my toes were firmly planted in the cauldron of metal. I always deftly straddled the fence when it came to choosing allegiance to one side or the other. You gotta remember though, this a time when both heavy metal and punk, although microscopic sub-genres of the big picture in music, were still divided. Metal heads, which came directly from cro-magnon like hard rock fans, despised the punks and usually did anything they could to fuck with them (especially where I grew up). Punks on the other hand hated the head bangers right back, but having smaller numbers, didn't usually do too much to retaliate.

So what the fuck does this all have to do with the mighty VEMON you ask? Well. early on, they were the common denominator between both genres, for me. I don't mean that venoms music took me to some secret place in my head that wasn't understood or explored without them. I mean, this was the band that made NEITHER side (metal or punk) wanna kick your ass for what you were listening to. With the knowledge (and a few records) of bands like vemon and motorhead, you (or at least me) could navigate both crowds successfully and without being bloodied or bruised. I mean, it helped too that I was way into both scenes and had a better record collection than most of the lunkheads that wanted to beat me up, but I digress.....

So fucking VENOM, the retarded court jesters of metal. When I heard their first lp not long after it came out I thought, "fucking sloppy.drunken discharge". The noise, yeah NOISE, that came out of the speakers that first time almost made me blow a load in my pants. I couldn't believe the three guys on the back of the lp, who look like Swedish prog rock homos by the way, could pull off such a glorious din. It sounded like a pack of twelve year olds trying to play the first discharge single on newly stolen equipment. Every note on that lp was somehow, sloppily perfect and I proceeded to wear the fucking grooves on that lp to dust. I was hooked and thusly bought everything these geniuses put out (except the 6 live Lps that all came out within a year)

Eventually, the quality or their records got as thin as bassist Cronos hairline. I think it was a combination of them believing their own hype and learning to play their instruments, but "At War With Satan" was the last, truly great venom lp (their third of too many). Nowadays, every real and wanna-be corpse painted choad smoker, claims venom were the black metal "originators". I call bullshit on this theory. Look, there is no doubt vemon were pretty early in putting satan and metal together, but I'm quite sure it was just for the shock value and not to kiss the goat. These boys fancied a pint and some tits way more than any serious satanic shit. Probably even took a couple pages from black sabbaths "how scare people with dark imagery and still have time for a beer" manifesto. I guess if singing about satan (and pussy) the earliest gets you called originator, than so be it (I personally think it was BATHORY who blueprinted bm) All that "who created what" shit is totally subjective anyhow.......

This cassette was released right around the same time as At War.... with a bonus song not on the vinyl and the interview. Fuck, the interview is the only thing that makes this worth sharing (alright, the songs a pretty good too). I love how Neat records, who put this out, totally make the "not our views" disclaimer in the liner notes. Probably because venom talk so much shit about other popular metal bands of the day, mainly manowar. This is venom at their dumbest, drunkest and best. Like the cool uncle that used to come to your house for the holidays, drink too much, call your mom and dad assholes, make up, drink more, then slip a fiver under your pillow before he left............

5 comments:

...PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES said...

Did you ever consider the fact that you are a 6'3" monster helped with the not getting your ass beat Surly?
Who else would've fucked with you other than biker dudes that just sat outside Blondies?

.......Just Surly said...

oh yeah, did I ever tell you about the time those two bikers put a .38 snubnose revolver in my friend and I's face over a patch on a leather jacket? it just so happens that it did indeed take place outside Blondies......."stop me if I told you this before" I slurred drunkenly.....besides I was only 6'2" when i was a kid

...PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES said...

No, I never heard about this incident. So what did they think you guys were in some other biker gang?

satanicwehrmacht666 said...

please re-up

...PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLES said...

I'll get it up and running again today.